God Of Mischief
by Uncomfortable Silence
Summary: Namikaze Minato had it all. Fame, power and a beautiful girlfriend. But there is one thing that could ruin his perfect life. Enter baby Naruto.
1. Chapter 1

This is my sad attempt at a humor fic. The situations in this story seem funny to me but i may just have a bad sense of humor.

* * *

God of Mischief

Chapter one: Loki

Konoha was in the grips of the second great shinobi war. And as the third Hokage, Sarutobi had seen many gruesome scenes. In his long career as a shinobi he had seen atrocity after atrocity committed to criminals and innocent alike. Not to mention the thousands of mission reports detailing morbid and gruesome battles. He had been in dozens of situations where the odds of him coming out alive had been slim to none. He had buried teammates, friends and family. And yet, through all of that, he had never once been afraid. Until now.

The scene in front of the third Hokage of Konoha was one so horrific that he knew he would be having nightmares about it for a very long time. With a heavy sigh Sarutobi picked up another sheet from the giant stack of paper in front of him and proceeded to sign it. As he let the dull monotony of paperwork wash over him he couldn't help but think, _the strongest ninja in the village doing paperwork when war is still raging? Hm what has the world come to? _

Sarutobi continued on with the paperwork knowing that if he didn't get it done he would get yelled at again. Him, the third Hokage of Konoha, get yelled at! By a mere secretary! The thought was preposterous. Yet he didn't dare to slow in his work. He almost wished there would be an attack so he would have an excuse to get out of this dingy office.

Little did he know that, although there would not be an attack, an event was about to take place that would provide much frustration and excitement for the aging Hokage. Oh yes, the dull monotony of paperwork was about to be interrupted by the arrival of a very…peculiar guest.

A violent wind suddenly arose in the Hokage's office sending important documents flying in every direction. With papers flying all around him Sarutobi franticly snatched at them trying to hold down as many as possible. Just as he finally managed to snatch one of the papers out of the air there was a loud bang and a brilliant flash. Covering his eyes with his arms he took a step back and was sent sprawling by his own chair.

Lying on his back Sarutobi took a moment to collect his thoughts before finally opening his eyes with a groan. All around him important pieces of paper fluttered their way towards the ground.

As Sarutobi lay there anger began to bubble inside his chest. _What kind of a moron would leave my window open!? _Then a thought suddenly occurred to him. He no longer had a window. In fact, for security reasons his office had been moved to the basement. The office was practically impossible to get into with 2 ANBU guards keeping watch outside his door 24/7 so that made infiltration impossible. _Just what in the hell happened here? _

As he lay there trying to work out just what had happened an odd sound cut into his thoughts, it was almost like a gurgle.

Now utterly confused, but completely alert, Sarutobi began to cautiously pick himself up off the floor and look around for the source of the noise. Sitting on his desk was what appeared to be a small light blue bundle. As he approached he could see a baby's face peeking out from the top. The baby had cerulean blue eyes, a few tufts of bright blond hair on his head and some strange black lines on his cheeks.

"Aww, you're actually kind of cute aren't you?" Sarutobi asked as he leaned over to inspect the small boy.

Then, with more speed then Sarutobi would have given him credit for, the boy's arms shot out of the blue bundle and latched onto the Hokage's hat. With a laugh that emphasized his victory the boy began to wave around his new prize.

"Ahh my hat!" Sarutobi cried. He quickly grabbed the hat and gave a quick yank, but to his surprise the boy didn't let go. He began to tug harder and harder on the hat but the boy refused to give up his new trophy. Sarutobi continued pulling until the child was suspended over the desk still giggling like mad. The blue blanket wound itself from around the baby and fell to the desk below leaving behind a very naked baby boy. Sarutobi gave the hat a small shake but the boy still refused to let go.

Now starting to get annoyed Sarutobi glared down at the child. "Alright, listen you. Give me back my…"

"Sarutobi-sensei!"

Sarutobi cringed at the very obviously angry voice and looked up to see one of his precious students.

"What do you think you are doing to that child?"

* * *

Tsunade just couldn't handle it anymore. She had tried, she really had, to grieve and get over the deaths of her loved ones but everywhere she looked reminded her of them. There was the restaurant where Dan had taken her on their first date. Over there was the park that Nawaki loved to go to when he had been a little kid. 

She just couldn't take it anymore, she had to leave Konoha, she didn't know for how long but she needed to get away to mourn in peace and to collect her thoughts. As she walked through Konoha's streets on her way to the Hokage tower she hoped her sensei would be able to understand. While she walked her thoughts were filled with her little brother and the man who had been her lover, like they always were these days. The villagers and shinobi of Konoha knew better then to try and talk to her. They knew she was still grieving.

Tsunade walked slowly through the halls of the Hokage tower; she knew that no one would stop her. They never did, she was too well known to be mistaken for an intruder. Even the ANBU guards outside the Hokage's office simply nodded to her and let her through.

Having Sarutobi for a teacher and Jiraiya for a teammate had taught Tsunade to always expect the unexpected. But the sight on the other side of the door was so ludicrous that it drove all thoughts of grief from her mind.

The office was a mess, papers and scrolls were lying everywhere as if children had decided to have a war using paper as their ammo. And in the center of this mess stood the third Hokage of Konoha shaking his hat. Swinging from the bottom of the hat was a very happy and very naked baby boy. The boy seemed to think it was all one big game but the Hokage didn't seem to be having very much fun at all.

"Alright, listen you. Give me back my…"

"Sarutobi-sensei!"

Sarutobi slowly looked up from his hat to see Tsunade standing in the doorway. The look on his face was very similar to that of a child who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"What do you think you are doing to that child?"

Sarutobi pointed an accusing finger at the boy dangling from the end of his hat. "He tried to steal my hat!" he pouted.

Tsunade sent her old teacher a glare that clearly said; _if there weren't a child here right now you would be _so_ dead._

Walking over to the Hokage Tsunade grabbed the boy and brought him to her shoulder. With a squeal of delight the boy let go of the hat and snuggled into her very comfortable chest.

"He's freezing! I swear Sarutobi-sensei, sometimes you're even less responsible then Jiraiya. Why do you have a baby anyways?"

Sarutobi eagerly placed his hat back onto the top of his head. "I don't know."

While listening to the Hokage explain the situation Tsunade picked up the blue blanket from his desk and wrapped the boy in it before returning him to her shoulder. She noticed a letter fall from out of the blanket and bent to pick it up. Now ignoring Sarutobi's story she began to read.

"And then you walked in." Sarutobi concluded his story of the day's absurd events only to notice that his former student was no longer paying attention.

"Sensei, I think you should take a look at this." Tsunade handed the letter to Sarutobi who quickly began to read.

_Dear Sarutobi: _

_I must apologize; I know how much you were looking forward to retirement. But it seems that I am no longer able to carry out my duties as Hokage. The great Kyubi no Kitsune is just too powerfull and I have concluded that the only way to defeat it is the Shiki Fuin. As for the vessel I have chosen my son, I regret this decision even now but I cannot ask another to make a sacrifice that I myself am unwilling to make. _

_And so I have two things to ask of you. The first is to watch over and protect this village until you are able to find another successor. And the second; please watch over my son. With both me and Kushina gone he will have no one to look after him. He is the only thing keeping the Kyubi at bay and the villagers should treat him as a hero. Make sure that this treatment doesn't go to his head. Please make sure that he grows up to be a son I would have been proud of. _

_The rest is up to you, old friend. _

_Namikaze Minato, The fourth Hokage of Konoha._

Slowly, Sarutobi leaned over and righted his chair before sitting down and going into deep thought.

"Well?" Tsunade asked impatiently. "What do you think?"

Sarutobi let out a long and heavy sigh before answering. "It would seem that the only logical conclusion is this: Some time in the future Konoha is attacked by the Kyubi. In an attempt defeat it the Hokage of that time, apparently Minato, seals it into his newborn child. And then that child is somehow transported back to this time and place."

"Logical?" Tsunade wanted to shout but the child on her shoulder was just starting to doze off and so she kept her voice low. "How is that logical? It must be a trick of some kind."

Sarutobi sighed again; he seemed to be doing that a lot today. "Tell me Tsunade, have you ever heard of the Shiki Fuin?" She shook her head. "That is because it doesn't exist yet. Minato is only now in the process of creating it. I have helped him a little in its development and so know the particulars. In exchange for the users life, your opponent's soul will be removed from his body and sealed into a vessel, in this case that boy. Since the jutsu has not yey been completed, if that boy possesses the seal then I will have no choice but to believe this story."

Silence reigned for several minutes as both thought over the implications of such a story being true.

Finally Tsunade broke the silence. "I didn't see a seal on his body so that means the story can't be true, right?"

Sarutobi shook his head. "The seal is one that only becomes visible while chakra is being channeled. Set the boy here for a moment." He motioned to the empty desk in front of him.

Tsunade set the now sleeping child down on the desk and took a step back to watch the Hokage work. Sarutobi unwrapped a portion of the blanket to reveal the boys stomach. After a few quick hand seals he touched his finger to the boy's belly button. At first nothing happened, but after a moment a line began to appear slowly moving in a spiral outward from the source of contact. The boy squirmed for a moment before returning to his peaceful slumber.

"Does that mean its true? Is this boy really from the future?" Sarutobi had known his student for a very long time but he had never before heard her voice so quiet and uncertain.

The Hokage's only response was to nod.

"So what happens now?"

Slowly Sarutobi lifted his eyes from the child and looked up at Tsunade. "The worlds balance is a surprisingly delicate thing. His being here could upset that balance. We will have to find a way to return him to his own time."

Tsunade nodded, her eyes still glued to the infant. "But what do we do with him until then?"

"Despite Minato's wishes I believe this boy has a very difficult future ahead of him. He will have no family, and being the vessel of Kyubi I doubt he will be allowed many friends. Perhaps we should let the boy get to know his parents while he has the chance."

* * *

Something was very wrong. Uzumaki Kushina continued to look around the Hokage's office and could not shake the feeling that something was very off. First, there was a pile of papers in the corner as if the Hokage had to decided to throw around his paperwork then had simply swept it all into the corner. But weirder still was Tsunade. She stood behind and slightly to the left of the Hokage with a sleeping infant in her arms. But if there was one thing that let Kushina know that something was wrong it was the fact that both she and Minato had been summoned to the meeting together. 

To avoid emotions getting in the way of a mission, family members and people who are romantically involved are forbidden from working together on missions. Which meant this meeting was about something else, but what Kushina could not fathom.

The third Hokage interrupted Kushina's musings by clearing his throat. "I have summoned you here today to talk of a very important matter. Everything said here today is deemed classified." He waited for Minato and Kushina to nod before continuing. "You have probably noticed that I am getting older."

"Well we didn't want to say anything…"

Sarutobi sent Minato a glare that promised lots of pain if he didn't learn to control his tongue in the near future.

"As I was saying… its time for me to chose a successor. After much debate I have decided that you, Minato, are probably the best candidate."

"YES!" Minato punched the air enthusiastically, a wide grin splitting his face.

"However…" Sarutobi continued.

"No!" Minato retracted his fist from the air returning his arm to his side.

"I am unsure whether or not you can handle the responsibility of caring for the entire village. And so I have devised a test. You will be given charge of this child." He gestured to the infant in Tsunade's arms. "If, after an indiscriminate amount of time, the child remains well cared for you will become the fourth Hokage. Do you accept?"

"So." Minato replied thoughtfully. "All I have to do is take care of that kid for a little while and I become Hokage?" Sarutobi nodded. "Hell yeah I accept!" Minato practically yelled.

Sarutobi nodded. "I expected as much." He then turned to look at Kushina. "You are no doubt wondering why you are here." She nodded. "As you probably realize only a fool would entrust the life of a child solely to Minato."

"Naturally." Came her quick reply.

"Heeeey." Minato whined indignantly.

Sarutobi simply ignored Minato's objection. "And so I ask that you aid him in caring for this child."

"Alright." Kushina agreed. "Ill make sure that kid lives through this experience."

"Excellent!" Sarutobi replied cheerfully. "Your guy's apartment is not suitable for raising a child, so I have arranged for a house, it is already filled with furniture. It is also fully stocked with all the supplies you will need. You guys can take the child home tonight and move in tomorrow. Any questions?"

"Where is the boy from?" Kushina asked.

"Ah," the Hokage replied. "I thought you might ask that. A reconnaissance team found him abandoned just inside our border. Currently we are in the process of searching for his family." Sarutobi beamed, full of pride at being able to come up with such a believable story.

"What is his name?" This time it was Minato's turn to ask the insightful question.

"Uhh…" The smile disappeared from his face as he desperately tried to make something up. "Loki… we just call him Loki."

* * *

Love it? Hate it? Let me know. 

Nawaki: Tsunade's little brother brother.

Next time on God of Mischief: Foreign shinobi try to starve Minato to death by nailing shut his cupboards. Then Minato decides that Loki is just too much trouble and has to go, but can he show Kushina just how evil the cute little child is?


	2. Chapter 2

I know that in the manga it said that Naruto got his looks from Minato and his personality from Kushina, however I am ignoring this. Minato's personality will be similar to Naruto's in some respects while Kushina will be the more serious one. I guess you can say that makes them ooc.

Also, please forgive me for any mistakes. I dont have spell check and im only human.

* * *

God of Mischief

Chapter 2: War

It had been a very long and very exhausting 24 hours. Minato couldn't decide when exactly it had become hell but it was probably around the time of: 'Hell yeah I accept!'

They had gotten home the night before and had put little baby Loki down to sleep then had crawled into bed themselves. 5 minutes later the baby had decided he didn't want to sleep anymore and had become very vocal about it.So they (Kushina) had decided that they would take turns staying up with the baby.

If that wasn't bad enough, come dawn it was moving time. The moving itself wasn't all that bad, what with the many shinobi they had to help them; once again it was the baby who complicated things. Kushina had once again decided that Loki could not go unsupervised, and so they took turns watching over him. Whenever it was Kushina's turn to watch the infant he had been calm and often asleep. But as soon as it was Minato's turn Loki would become wide awake and very hyper. Twice Minato had had to change a diaper. Twice Minato had almost cried.

Now they stood, with the work finished, looking around at their new living room. Little baby Loki slept peacefully in Kushina's arms.

"The old man said he stocked the cupboards. I'm gonna go see if he gave us anything good." Kushina rolled her eyes, knowing that half the food would be gone by this time tomorrow.

As Minato went into the kitchen Kushina sat in an armchair, content to get some rest while she could. But the peaceful silence of the house would not last long.

_CRACK! _

Instantly Kushina was on her feet and rushing into the kitchen to see what had happened. There stood Minato with a cupboard door hanging from his hand.

"It wasn't my fault." Minato immediately explained. "It was foreign shinobi. You see they planned to starve us to death by nailing shut our cupboards. But they underestimated me." Minato held up the cupboard door for her to see, with a look of triumph on his face.

Kushina shook her head and walked over to one of the cupboards that was still intact. She flipped open the little plastic child proof latch and opened the cupboard.

Minato just stared at Kushina for a minute before responding. "Those foreign shinobi are more dastardly then I thought."

With an exasperated sigh Kushina roughly took the cupboard door from Minato then gently placed the still sleeping infant into his arms. "Watch Loki for a minute and try not to break anything else." She said before leaving the room.

Minato surveyed the kitchen for a minute and shrugged. He had caused worse damage then this in a kitchen before. Gently placing Loki on the counter he started to rummage through the now door less cupboard until he found a cup of ramen. Placing the cup beside Loki he started boiling water in the kettle in preparation for his favourite food.

_Hisssss. _Finally the water the water was done. Minato grabbed the kettle and turned to get the cup of ramen only to find it was in the hands of another.

Minato chuckled as he saw that his ramen was in the hands of little baby Loki. _Maybe the kid isn't so bad after all. I mean nobody who likes ramen can be completely evil._ Loki had both arms and both legs wrapped firmly around the cup as if it were his only life line.

"Sorry kid, that's grown up food." Shaking his head amusedly Minato walked over and began his effort to regain possession of his precious ramen.

With growing distress Minato soon realised that he could only remove two limbs from the cup at a time. And as soon as he let go of the limb it would be right back around the cup of ramen. Despite his best efforts he was unable to regain his dinner.

Narrowing his eyes and glaring at Loki, Minato finally said, "All right, listen you. Give me back my..."

"Minato!" Slowly Minato turned to see Kushina standing in the door way looking at him in a mixture of shock and anger.

"What do you think you are doing to that child?"

Minato pointed an accusing finger at Loki. "He tried to steal my ramen!" He pouted.

Kushina made a sound of disgust before walking over and tickling Loki's sides. The boy immediately began to giggle and squirm around, and let go of the ramen cup in the process. She then lifted the baby up to her shoulder, where he began to snuggle into her very comfortable chest, then turned and walked out of the kitchen.

Minato stared after them for a minute, eyes narrowing. _That boy is pure evil. I hope he knows he just made a declaration of war. IT IS ON!_ He looked down at the ramen cup sitting on the counter. _Okay I'm going to eat my ramen first. But after that IT IS ON!_ He then remembered the very few hours of sleep he had had the night before. _Okay after I eat my ramen and get some slee...oh hell the war starts tomorrow._

* * *

As if content with the amount of mischief he had caused Loki slept peacefully through the night. However, this did not mean that it went smoothly for Minato. As soon as he had slipped into bed he received the cold shoulder from Kushina. _That's okay. _He thought. _Soon the baby will be gone and all will be as it should be. _Already the perfect plan was forming in his head.

The next morning, life seemed so much better. Life always seems so much better when you wake up to the wondrous smell of cooking bacon. Minato had a feeling that it was going to be a wonderful day. Of course, Minato's feelings are rarely ever right.

Minato headed downstairs with a peaceful smile on his lips to see Kushina cooking and Loki sitting in a high chair eating a bowl full of mush. A glance at the table revealed that Kushina had already set out a plate for him laden full of eggs, bacon, and toast. He sat in front of the plate and began to break his fast with a gusto that even an Akimichi would find hard to rival.

Kushina sat down across from Minato with a plate of her own and gave him a searching look. "I'm going to get a new cupboard door today, when I come back is everything and everyone going to be in one piece?"

Minato looked slightly indignant. "Do you really think I can't take care of a baby on my own for just a few hours?"

Kushina continued to look at Minato without changing expression.

"Yeah, you better make it quick." Minato said before returning to his food.

Kushina finished her breakfast and placed Loki in a small play pen in the living room before she headed for the door; leaving behind a long list of do's and don'ts.

As soon as the door closed behind Kushina an evil smile began to spread over Minato's face. He turned to look at the newly acquired bane of his existence and saw Loki smiling back. Whether it was a smile of challenge or just the smile of a happy go lucky infant Minato didn't know, and didn't care. This was war, and Minato never lost in war.

"Kid, you don't know who you're messing with." Minato said as he began walking towards the play pen that Loki was sitting in. "You made two big mistakes. The first was getting so lovey dovey with Kushina's chest, that's _my _territory. The second and worst mistake was to try and steal my ramen. I am the legendary yellow flash, and no one ever beats the yellow flash."

With that Minato turned and began heading up the stairs. He couldn't help but congratulate himself on his perfect plan. It would be like killing two birds with one stone. Two very evil and demon like birds.

Minato reached the bedroom and spotted what he was looking for on top of the dresser. There sat the most evil looking doll that had ever existed. With red slitted eyes and a smile that wouldnt be out of place on satan himself the thing was just too creepy too look at. It seemed to him that Kushina had brought the thing home just to spite him and had refused to let him move or even touch it.

Minato picked up the doll and stared at it for a minute before starting to sqeuze. It didnt take long before the dolls head popped off.

As he headed down the stairs he began to chuckle evilly. His plan was fool proof, it was only a matter of time before this evil child was gone and he would take up the robes of Hokage.

Minato placed the two pieces of the doll in the play pin with Loki and then looked at the infant, who simply stared back curiously unaware then his end was near. He headed back into the kitchen and settled in to wait. He didnt mind waiting, being a shinobi required patience after all.

It wasnt very long before the sound of a door opening reached his ears. Minato almost vibrated with anticipation knowing it wouldnt be long before Kushina found her favourite doll destroyed at the hands of Loki and would be so outraged that she would demand that the child leave the house imediatly. _Fool proof, _Minato thought as he silently congratulated himself.

"Minato?" Came Kushina's voice.

"Yes Kushina?" Minato replied sweetly as he stepped into the room.

"Where is Loki?"

"Why I don't know how he...wait what?" Minato looked at the play pen and imediatly discerned two things. One, Loki was gone. And two, so was the broken doll.

Meanwhile Kushina's face was clouding with anger. "Minato if you lost that child I swear..." She trailed off aparently to angry to continue.

Minato hated it when she left his punishment up to his imagination. "I didn't loose him he...he must be in the kitchen."

Kushina continued to glare at him with out blinking. "Im going to go upstairs, if you havent found him by the time I get back down you will be lucky if Tsunade can heal you." With out waiting for her to say anything else Minato fled into the kitchen to begin his frantic search.

He looked everywhere, under the table, inside cupbaords, behind the fridge, but still no Loki. Racing back into the living room he found that it was empty of both Kushina and the baby.

"MINATOOOOOOOOOO!!"

He froze. That sound was never a good thing. He raced upstairs and into the bedroom where it didn't take long for him to realise why Kushina was so upset.

There, siting on the bed, on his pillow no less, were the two pieces of the broken doll. Kushina had her arms crossed and was glaring at him, waiting for an explanation no doubt.

Fool proof maybe, but aparently not baby proof.

"It...it was Loki." Minato stammered weakly.

If he had thought Kushina couldn't possibly get any more angry then he was sadly mistaken. She lowered her voice to just above a whisper and began to slowly advance on him. "Are you saying that a baby climbed up the stairs got the doll down off the dresser climbed up onto our bed tore the head off the doll then neatly set the pieces on your pillow before disapearing into thin air?"

Minato knew that it sounded ridiculous but he was unable to come up with a better excuse. "Its possible." He replied lamely.

Kushina exploded. "YOU HAD BETTER FIND THAT BABY NOW!!"

Minato turned and fled the room in fear for his life. His feet barely touched the stairs as he went down them and into the living room , where he found little baby Loki inocently playing in his little pen.

"You!" Minato began to advance on the pen several forms of torture quickly passing through his head.

"Oh, so you actually managed to find him." Minato whirled to see that Kushina had come down the stairs behind him. "I don't suppose you are competent enough to watch him for the few minutes I'll need to put the door back on the cupboard." With out waiting for a reply she grabed a package that had been resting beside the door and stalked into the kitchen without waiting for a reply.

Minato was still having trouble working out exactly how Loki had gotten the best of him. Obviously this was no normal baby he was dealing with. This was some sort of super sneeky ninja baby.

He turned to look at the boy and found him to be making insistant motions with his arms, aparently wanting to be picked up. "Too bad!" Minato crossed his arms and looked away.

But soon the boy began to whine, and the last thing he needed was Kushina thinking that he was abusing the boy in some way. So he knelt and picked the baby up. But as soon as he did Loki began squirming and trying to get to the ground. So Minato put him down, where he promptly began making motions to be picked up again.

Kushina could not believe just how stupid that man was. She knew she was taking her chances when she had left him alone with a baby, but even she hadn't believed he would be pigheaded enough to try and blame the broken doll on Loki. That man just had no sense of responsability what so ever. She would have to report to the Hokage that Minato was just not fit to take care of a child.

An odd sound interupted her thoughts. She couldn't figure out what it was but it was almost like an odd buzzing, and it seemed to becoming from the living room. Not sure just what to expect she went to the door that connected the living room and kitchen.

"ZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!" Minato had both hands placed firmly on the sides of the baby as he whirled, sending Loki flying through the air. Both man and child seemed to be having the time of their lives. They both had near identical grins plastered on their faces as they flew through the air.

As he spotted Kushina watching from the doorway Minato abrubtly stopped and placed Loki back in his pen, where he imediatly glared at Kushina for interupting his fun.

"Uh... there was a fly and i was trying to catch it with his mouth." Minato explained.

Kushina only smiled as she shook her head and turned to finish her work in the kitchen.

Minato couldnt believe his luck. He had thought he would be in the dog house for years, but she had just smiled at him as if everything was allright. With a broad smile gracing his face he puffed out his chest and headed for the kitchen. The only problem being he forgot to look where he was going.

CRASH

"MINATOOO!!"

"Loki did it! bad Loki!"

* * *

Sorry for the long wait but i havent had time for fanfiction in a very long time.


	3. Chapter 3

And you guys thought it took me a long time to update with the last chapter!

Sorry but ive been pretty busy the last year or so. I'm tying to get back into writing, i already posted a story on fictionpress but it only got one hit so i decided to come back here where people actually read my stories. If any one is interested in reading this failed attempt its called The NightHawks.

I hope you enjoy this long awaited update. ( sorry no christmas themes)

* * *

God of mischief

Chapter 3: The enemy of my enemy

"You called for me Sarutobi-sensei?"

The third Hokage of Konoha looked up to see one of his students standing in the doorway.

"Yes, come in Tsunade. And please shut the door behind you. I think I may have unravelled a little of the mystery that is our little visitor."

Knowing that he meant Naruto she quickly shut the door then sealed it against eavesdropping. Eager to hear what he had to say she crossed the room and sat in the chair opposite Sarutobi.

"Are you familiar with the concepts of yin and yang chakra?" Sarutobi asked after a brief pause.

Tsunade couldn't help but flash back to when her team-mates and herself would sit around their teacher as he lectured them on chakra theory.

"Yin chakra is used for genjutsu while yang chakra is used for ninjutsu." She answered just as she had all those years ago.

"A simplified explanation but yes." Sarutobi replied. "I have been looking through every book and scroll I could find about jutsu affecting the flow of time. I came across an ancient legend that says if enough yin chakra is gathered together and release it would create a bridge through time."

"So you think Minato sent him back on purpose?" Tsunade asked. "To warn us about the Kyubi's attack."

"No." Sarutobi shook his head. "I doubt Minato was even aware of the bridge. And he wouldn't have the power to make one anyways. Even if twenty Kage's gathered together they would not have enough chakra to test the legend."  
"Then why do you think this legend has anything to do with how Naruto got here?"

"I noticed something odd when I was studying the Shiki Fuin. When the Kyubi was sealed within Naruto only half its chakra, its yang chakra, was sealed with it. It's yin chakra must have been released at the time of the sealing which created the bridge."

"So what does this mean?"

"It means we are one step closer to sending him home."

"What!?" Tsunade exclaimed. "Why do we have to send him home? You said it yourself, things would be hard for him in his own time. Let him stay here where he could have a family, where he can be loved!"

It wasn't hard to see just how attached Tsunade had become to the boy, perhaps he was even the only reason she hadn't left the village. Sarutobi hated to do this to his student but he had no choice.

"There are two reasons he can't stay. The first is, we are weeks away from ending this war. If the other villages learn of him they will think that he is intended as a weapon and this war will never end. And the second is, it's only a matter of time before the brat makes another attempt at stealing my hat."

* * *

Minato reached out his hand and knocked on the door to hell. Of all the horrible things he had been asked to do in his line of work, none of them even compared to the task ahead.

The door opened to reveal a man that looked just as miserable as he felt.

"I'm here," Minato gulped back his fear. "For the play date."

"Oh, would you two stop being so dramatic." Kushina exclaimed as she pushed past them into the house. "It's not going to be that bad."

Poor Kotaro, a teacher at the ninja academy, was married to Setsuna who was Konoha's foremost expert in weapons. Together they had a little girl named Tenten. When Kushina had first moved to Konoha many years ago it did not take long for her and Setsuna to become close friends. Now that Kushina had all but adopted litle Loki they saw a chance to become family by marriage. And nothing was going to stand in their way. Play dates were only the first step in the wedding plans that were undoubtably already laid out.

Minato followed Kotaro into the living room where he saw Loki already sitting in a play pen with a girl of about the same age.

"We are going to make some tea." Kushina told the men. "If anything happens to the kids it's your ass!" She sent a glare at Minato before disappearing into the kitchen, leaving the two men awkwardly staring at the kids.

"What do you think they are up to?" Kotaro asked.

Loki and Tenten had not moved since being put together in the pen, they just sat there staring at each other.

"I don't know." Minato said. "But whatever it is it can't be good. Loki turns into some sort of super evil ninja baby whenever Kushina isn't around."

"Yours too!?" Kotaro looked over at Minato with wide eyes. "I thought mine was the only one!"

"You mean there's two?" Minato asked. He went pale at the thought, they could be in some serious trouble he thought as he turned back to watch the children.

Loki moved from his sitting position and stood with only a little difficulty, he looked over at Tenten triumphantly as if in challenge. Answering the challenge Tenten stood and returned the look.

Loki scowled, and focused all of his concentration into taking a step. But it wasn't enough, he wobbled and fell. Tenten squealed in laughter and then took a step forward just to prove that she was better. The sore looser that he is Loki reached out and grabbed a hold of the blanket that Tenten was currently standing on. With a quick yank he sent Tenten sprawling to the ground, then mimicked her squeal of laughter. Triumphantly Loki continued to pull his prize towards him, but Tenten shot out her hand and grabbed the other end of the blanket. The two sat there glaring at each other, apparently equal in strength, as the blanket did not budge between them.

"Holy crap!" The two men exclaimed simultaneously. "They cancel each other out!"

* * *

Kushina and Minato sat on a bench by the side of the road enjoying the cool evening air before returning home, Loki was curled up asleep in Kushina's arms. The play date had ended with out any casualties. Loki and Tenten had been found asleep with there backs to each other. Tenten had apparently won as a larger portion of the blanket had been covering her then Loki.

"Good evening Sensei." Minato said respectfully.

Jiraiya returned the greeting before continuing down the road and disappearing around the corner.

"You did good today." Kushina told Minato. "Nobody got injured and nothing got broken. It was good practice for tomorrow. You will have to watch Loki while I'm away on a mission."

"But I have a mission tomorrow too, I can't watch him."

"I can't believe that irresponsible old man! giving us both missions on the same day. We will have to find a baby sitter." Kushina said angrily.

At the words 'baby sitter' Jiraiya's head popped around the corner. Puffing out his chest he walked back down the road waving to the couple as he passed.

"Do you know if Tsunade is busy?" Kushina asked.

"She has to work at the hospital tomorrow. How about Kotaro and Setsuna?"

"Setsuna has a mission and I don't know if Kotaro should be trusted with one kid, let alone two."

With an anoyed look on his face Jiraiya reached the other end of the street. Trying to look responsible he started back towards them again. Of course he had no idea how to look responsible so he just ended up looking stuck up as he strolled down the street.

"What about Kakashi and Rin?" Kushina asked.

"No they have to come with me tomorrow. How about Sarutobi?"

"Yes, because the Hokage has time to be sitting around babysitting a kid." Kushina replied while rolling her eyes.

"Perfect, no need to worry then."

"I was being sarcastic you idiot!" She had to restrain herself ffrom yelling and smacking him over the head. If she woke Loki up every time Minato said something stupid then he would never get any sleep.

Deciding that it was time to take matters into his own hands Jiraiya walked up to the two and said, "I'm free tomorrow."

Minato's face brightened. "Yeah, Jiraiya-sensei practicallyraised me and look how I turned out!"

"I don't know...." Kushina said doubtfully.

"Oh come on how hard could it be to take care of a little kid for one day?" Jiraiya asked obliviously.

* * *

Well there it is. Ill try to update again soon


End file.
